


Introduction to Growing Up

by Spidermansalterego



Series: Introduction to Growing up [1]
Category: Community (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-29
Updated: 2013-07-29
Packaged: 2017-12-21 17:12:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/902809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spidermansalterego/pseuds/Spidermansalterego
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Troy had his first crush when he was five.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Introduction to Growing Up

Troy is five when he has his first crush. He reads the comics, watches the cartoons and falls in love with Batman. He's five and a half when he makes the mistake of telling his Nana he wants to marry Batman. He remembers the sharp sting of the slap across his face, the sharper voice demanding a switch and the shame he felt as she whooped him and screeched about how he'll go to hell for wanting to kiss boys. He remembers that feeling when he's five and a half and wants to kiss his best friend.

Troy is fourteen the first time he kisses a girl. It's also the first time he's at a real, high school party. He tells everyone he's done things with girls and makes up a sleep-away camp and a first kiss. It doesn't take long for everyone to move on and for a very drunk girl to find her way into his lap. She slurs something about basketball that might be slightly racist and  runs her fingers through his hair. Troy is drunk enough to not feel bad about kissing someone as drunk as her. When she leads him upstairs and promptly falls asleep he sobers up enough to turn her on her side and tuck her in. He doesn't correct the rumors that fly about them, but neither does she, so he guesses it's ok.

Troy is fifteen the first time he kisses a boy. The coach makes him run extra laps because he's annoyed at something or other he did and he doesn't get into the locker room until it's just him and his friend Sam left. He doesn't really know how it happens, one second they're joking around and the next he's pressed against a locker, breathing heavily into his face. He's not quite sure who kisses who but he's pretty sure Sam kisses him. It's a nice kiss for the second it lasts, before Troy shoves him away and hisses "I'm not gay." He practically growls "Fuck off, faggot." After Sam's noise of disbelief. He doesn't get to hear what Sam has to say about that because he's already running home. Shower forgotten.

Troy is nineteen the first time he meets Abed. He's tall and lanky and can carry on a conversation entirely in movie quotes. The popular, High school jock in him thinks he should brush him off before he's labeled a nerd along with him. The actual, heart having Troy wants to watch movies with him and hear him talk forever. Troy is nineteen and a half the first time he makes Abed really, truly, face-lit-up-with-joy smile he gets butterflies in his stomach and a large pang of guilt.

Troy is twenty-one and a day the first time he gets truly, blindingly drunk. It's the day after his birthday and Abed invites him to the dorm to watch movies and greets him with a 40 of vodka and an "You didn't get to drink on your birthday." He spent his high school years tipsy and sober, not liking the idea of looking stupid in front of the people he called his friends or the idea of forgetting the night before. Troy happily accepts the present and suggests a drinking game set to a movie. They watch Harry Potter and take shots whenever they feel like it rather than the suggestions the internet gave him. Troy is drunk quicker than he realizes and learns that while beer makes him stupid and loud, vodka makes him sleepy and cuddly. He curls up against Abed's side and mumbles compliments toward his best friend. He snuggles closer and mumbles "You're the best." and "How did you get so comfy? Were you always this comfy?" into Abed's shoulder. Abed is too drunk to care and snuggles back. Abed wakes up first and leaves to take a shower, when Troy wakes up the only thing he remembers is Harry riding the train.

Troy is twenty-two the first time he almost kisses Abed. Sitting side by side in the pillow fort he almost can't help himself. He starts to lean in, pulls back and excuses himself. He turns on the shower and cries, a faint echo of " _You'll go to hell for thoughts like that, boy!"_ tainting his mind and the faint sting of a slap that's long past touching his face.

Troy is twenty-two when Abed confronts him about pulling away from a kiss. He corners him in the kitchen and questions if he wants to kiss him, he can. Troy can't help but break down and tell him the truth, because best friends don't lie to each other. He tells him everything and starts to cry in the middle of the Batman story. Abed stays quiet the whole time and when Troy's done he simply bends down and places a kiss on Troy's lips. He says, very seriously, "I don't believe in hell, and I especially don't believe someone as good hearted as you could ever go there" and its Troy's turn to kiss him.

Troy is twenty-two when he can finally admit to himself that he's bisexual, that he always has been and always will be and nothing could change that. He's twenty-two and a half when he can finally say the words out loud to his closest friends who respond with various "duh-doi"'s and happy acceptance.

He's twenty-three when he can hold hands with his boyfriend and show up for not-really-thanksgiving at his mother's house. He's twenty-three when his grandmother looks at him with disgust and demands a switch. He tells her she can accept him or not be a part of his life. His mother and his Nana choose the second option, but Troy stands strong, squeezes Abed's hand and leaves. He's twenty-three when his father and his girlfriend tell him they'll love him no matter what. He's twenty three when he accepts that it's alright that he's lost some of his old family, because his Greendale one is much better than that one anyway.

Troy is twenty three years old when he can finally accept who he is.


End file.
